Lessons from Nehemiah for Parents of Prodigals
Praying a Spiritual Wall Around Your Far-Away Child
The following post is inspired by the events detailed in our true story, Unconfined: Lessons from Prison and the Journey of Being Set Free, by Lily Taylor. We hope it will help you find joy and purpose while you are waiting on restoration.
Where the Wall Started to Crack
Is your relationship with your child or someone you love broken, despite your best plans and efforts? My husband, Skip, and I have experienced how much it hurts to raise up a child to know and love Jesus, but watch that child walk far away from the things of God. Like so many other parents, we have carried a burden of guilt and wondered what we did wrong?
At the time when we got the call that changed our family forever, we were living in a quaint small town in the Texas hill country near San Antonio. My husband
was a CPA and finance executive with a healthcare firm. I was a corporate lawyer. We were very active in our church and our community. We thought we were doing the right things to raise well-grounded children, but our happy life was turned upside down when we learned that our son had been arrested and charged under federal law for participating in an illegal drug operation.
We started reading the Bible like we had never read it before. We wanted to find and learn all of God’s promises for parents. We began to pray the promises of God. In the fullness of time, we saw God answer many of these prayers and we want to share them with you. The first important principal that we felt God showing us is that He is the architect of the family. Because God is the creator and designer of the family, He is the one to turn to for restoration.
Our Wall
One book of the Bible in particular from which we drew inspiration was the book of Nehemiah. Nehemiah was an Israelite who had been taken captive and was in exile from his homeland. He had a deep desire to restore an important part of his family heritage that had been totally destroyed – the protective wall around the holy city of Jerusalem. His story is ordinarily seen as a primer on leadership, not family restoration. But we noticed when we were actively searching the Bible for promises of restoration, that Nehemiah’s act of rebuilding a wall of safety around Jerusalem was the catalyst that brought many of God’s people back into fellowship with each other, and with the Lord.
One night while I was praying, I saw in my mind an image of stones – the type of large stones used for building a structure. I asked God to show me how I could build a “spiritual wall” around my family – like Nehemiah built the physical wall around the city of Jerusalem.
In the fullness of time, I believe God’s Holy Spirit revealed several things to me about the value of this spiritual wall. This lesson – Understanding the Architect’s Design - is the first of 5 lessons.
I believe that one reason Nehemiah saw his prayers answered was because he honored God with the content of his prayer. He gave God praise and reverence while lining up his requests with the promises of God revealed in scripture. Nehemiah 1: 5-11 is an excellent example:
“O Lord, God of heaven, the great and awesome God who keeps his covenant of unfailing love with those who love him and obey his commands, listen to my prayer! I confess that I have sinned and my own family have sinned greatly against you. Please remember what you told your servant Moses…if you return to me and obey my commands and live by them, then even if you are exiled to the ends of the Earth, I will bring you back to the place I have chosen for my name to be honored... Listen to the prayers of those who delight in honoring you. Please grant me favor with the king today.” Nehemiah 1:5-11
Praying Scripture for Your Prodigal
Following the example we see in Nehemiah’s prayer above, consider praying the following prayer for your prodigal’s return:
1. Adoration. “O Lord, God of Heaven, You are the great and awesome God of creation who keeps His covenant of unfailing love with those who love you, please hear this prayer.”
2. Confession. “I confess my own sins and anything in my thoughts and actions that has separated me from You. Please forgive me. I also confess the sins of my child, who is currently wandering in the wilderness. Touch [his/her] heart right now, Lord and convict [him/her] of sin. Finally, I confess the sins of my ancestors. If there is anything in my family line that was brought through me to my children in the flesh that does not honor You, I reject it and declare that “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!” (Joshua 25:14)
3. Declare the Promises of God: “Lord, You say in Your Word that children are a blessing and You declared Your creation to be “very good.” (Genesis 1:37). You also said that children are a “divine reward.” (Psalm 127:3-5.) If my child is separated from me and from You, then I know that all I need to do is ask for Your help, because Your word never returns void, but accomplishes what You have set out to do. (Isaiah 55:11) You promise to give back what we have lost. (Joel 2:25). You promise to breathe life into dead, dry things – including my relationship with my child! (Ezekiel 37:1-10) I desire to see all that You have promised come true.”
4. Ask: “Lord, please restore my child’s health and restore them to a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7). I know you will never stop knocking on the door of [his/her] heart. (Revelation 3:20). Please remind [him/her] of who You are and Your love for them. Give [him/her] a desire to reconnect with their family and return to worshipping You! I ask for favor with you, my King, today!”
God’s design and desire is to build His kingdom. He chooses to do that through families. If your desire is to see your child return to faith, that desire lines up with the heart of God. Building our “spiritual wall” creates a holy place for God to do His work.
(While You’re Waiting on Your Answer) BUILD A FIRM FOUNDATION:
1. Ask God how to love your child the way he or she is at this moment. Ask Him for divine wisdom and guidance to know when to speak, and when prompted, what to say.
2. List 5 things you admire and are grateful for about your son or daughter (or estranged loved one). Pray for an opportunity to share these feelings with them.
3. Commit to not saying anything negative about your child, even when confronted with a bad reality. Declare out loud to yourself and to others that your son or daughter will fulfill their destiny and that they are a fearfully and wonderfully made masterpiece of God!
Parting Thoughts:
Although parts of our journey were very painful, in the fullness of time, we saw God do some amazing things – that only He can do. Our son has been home for 4 years, following his 9.5 years in prison. While the experience was not without scars, our son has drawn closer to God and our relationship is being restored. We believe that your relationship CAN be restored because nothing is too difficult for God.